The beauty in the breakdown

I'm just letting go so I can breathe

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Holy Shit! I'm posting something!
Well, it's been one hell of a fucking horrible year, and despite all of the shit that went down, I am very thankful that things weren't worse, which they always could be. HAH! That's just me trying to be positive. 2009 has been the worst year of my life, and for some reason, everyone in my life agrees that this year has been their worst year yet as well...including my dad who admitted this to me when I called him to wish him happy birthday last month. It was very sad to hear him say that. Sigh.

John is amazing. And his battle with cancer has brought us so much closer, which is awesome. He is my hero. He completed six months of chemo, and a big surgery where they took out a 4 inch section of his tibia, replaced it with cadaver bone, and then used a titanium rod and screws to hold it all together. His scar is the most impressive thing you have ever seen. The scar is the entire length of his lower leg, and a section of his knee. John started walking on his knew leg 2 weeks after surgery. How amazing is that?!?! The most awesome thing is that where his tumor was located means he won't need rehabilitation or anything. Just walking on it will give him his strength back, and the doctors don't think that he'll lose any function in his leg at all. He was so so lucky that he did not lose his leg.

I am very happy to not have to go to the hospital 8 million times in a week anymore, or have to worry about all of the complications from the chemo. There were many trips to the ER, and constant worry about everything that could happen. I learned more about cancer this year than I ever hoped to learn, and think that John is the most courageous person ever to keep going back to the hospital to start chemo again and again and again...and right when he was just starting to feel better. Ahhh, I just love him so much and am so proud of him. =)

So I am happy now that we can spend the rest of the year getting back to "normal." And just pray that the cancer never ever comes back. Ever.

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