The beauty in the breakdown

I'm just letting go so I can breathe

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A John update...
around_midnight
He has finished 3 rounds of chemotherapy, and ended up in the ER twice. Once with a low-grade fever and a White blood cell count of 1.6, and another for rapid bone marrow growth due to a neupogen shot that was given to him to help keep his WBC high. The first time we ended up in the ER, I had a cold so I couldnt see him very much. He stayed in the hospital for 3 days! When his count is that low, he has almost no immune system, which could really mess him up if he got sick. It sucked a lot! And his paranoid and idiotic mother would not let him come back to the apartment for 2 weeks!!!!!!! He could not come home until I was absolutely symptom free. You know how coughs tend to linger after a cold? Yeah, I wasnt contagious, but she wouldnt let him come home. Ugh. She still is clueless. I cant stand it, but I let it slide.

Since John is young, he tolerates the chemo well, but unfortunately is having a huge problem with nausea. We learned that its pretty normal. Since he is young, his sense of smell and taste are much greater, which makes the nausea a lot worse for him than say a 65 year old man going through the same thing. However, I am a bit shocked to hear the nurses tell John he should come in if he has any nausea. How could he not have nausea? I mean, he is taking like 4 different anti-nausea pills...including Marinol which is the synthetic pill form of marijuana, which is working great! But sometimes they dont work so well, and thats when they want John to come in. He is really tough though.

He had a PET scan the other day, and we learned that his tumor has shrunken in size by almost half of what is was, so that means the chemo is working. YAY! That also means that if he has anything microscopic in his lungs that is most likely gone.

Now for the hard part...Surgery.

His surgery will be on Tuesday, July 7th. That is exactly 3 months since we walked into the ER with cancer being the furthest thing from our minds. Its so crazy. The past 3 months feel like they have flown by, but at the same time it feels like it has been 3 years. Its so hard to explain.

I am so proud of John though. It feels really amazing to be in love with your hero. =)

I will rant about the psycho I work with who gets mad at me for doing by job...go figure...some other time.
Until then, I apologize for my keyboard. I spilled water on it and my backspace, apostrophe, and quotation mark buttons dont work. It is covered under warranty though, so it will be resolved...someday.

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